Cookies
by dreamninja
Summary: Axel learned the hard way not to take stuff from Vexen's lab Rated M just in case
1. Chapter 1

"Hey guys I got cookies for everyone"Axel says coming into the living room with everyone one except Vexen,Xigbar,Xemnas,and all took one and started eating. "These are good where did you get them from"Demyx asked. "From Vexen's lab"Axel said taking a bite of his cookie. "You dumbass what if its some kind of experiment"Larxene said. "Or a poison"Saix added. "I feel kinda funny"Xaldin said.

* * *

"Well that mission was easy im glad its over"Xigbar said to Lexaeus as they both walked into the living room and saw a lot of organization coats on the ground. "What the hell happened here"Xemnas asked walking in the room. "We don't know we just got in here"Lexaeus said. "Where is everyone"Xigbar asked. "I swear to kingdom hearts if they are streaking im gonna tear each of them a new one"Xemnas said. Then they all looked when they saw one of the organization coats moving. Xigbar moved the coat to see a naked baby Xaldin. "Gross I saw Xaldin's junk I think im blind"Xigbar said dropping the coat once again covering the baby. The baby started to cry. "Uhh what do we do"Xemnas said. "Well lets get them clothed"Lexaeus said wrapping Xaldin in his now oversized organization coat. "I'm gonna go get Aqua she should know what to do"Xigbar said leaving before anyone could object. "Well I guess we better make sure everyone is here and bundle them up"Lexaeus said. Then Xigbar appeared with Aqua. "What happened here"Aqua asked shocked. "Well we aren't exactly sure me and Xigbar were on a mission and Xemnas was in his room when this happened"Lexaeus said. "Everyone else got turned into babies"Xemnas said. "Wait I only count nine babies"Aqua said. "Lets see Roxas,Larxene,Marluxia,Luxord,Demyx,Axel,Saix,Zexion,and Xaldin yep they're all here"Xigbar said. "What about Vexen"Lexaeus asked. "Wait why are there cookies on the ground"Aqua asked picking one up. "Don't eat that"Vexen said running into the room. "Its an experiment I have been working on it helps dusks but i'm not sure of what it does to humans"Vexen said. "Um I think we found out already"Xigbar says pointing to all the babies on the ground. "I'm gonna go try to find a cure"Vexen said going into his lab. "Not so fast we need your help"Xemnas said. "How old do you think they are"Lexaeus asked. "I estimate they are all about a year old"Vexen said. "Great we got ourselves a bunch of babies"Xemnas said. "I no babwe"Larxene said giving Xemnas a glare. "Aww thats cute Larxene wants to kick your ass even when shes a ba- I mean child"Xigbar said. "Well being that they have no clothes we should probably get them some"Aqua said. "Alright me,Vexen,and Aqua are going to the and Xigbar you guys stay here and watch the kids"Xemnas said.


	2. Chapter 2

While Xemnas,Aqua,and Vexen were at the store Xigbar and Lexaeus were trying to get all the kids asleep. Lexaeus was holding Larxene and Luxord while Xigbar was holding Axel and Saix. The other kids were on the floor crying. "Why won't they stop crying"Xigbar yelled. "I'm not sure but I hope the others get back soon"Lexaeus said as Larxene started pulling his hair. "I hungy"Demyx said. "Ice cweam"Axel says. "Of course little buddy"Xigbar said going to get some tubs of ice that Xigbar and Lexaeus fed them ice cream. "What are you guys doing"Xemnas asked. "They were hungry so we got them some ice cream"Xigbar said. "Xigbar they are one you can't just give them ice cream now they might not eat their dinner"Vexen said. "Last time I checked your the one that got us into this whole mess"Xigbar argued. "Well maybe if they weren't snooping in my lab this wouldn't have happened"Vexen yelled back. "It doesn't matter how much you argue it doesn't change that they are all babies and you're scaring them"Aqua said picking up a crying Demyx and a crying Roxas. "Shh guys don't cry we got you some toys and clothes"Aqua said smiling at them. After they were all dressed Aqua spoke again "who wants to color." This got all of the kids attention. She gave them some crayons some coloring books and went into the kitchen to talk to the other members. "Well they are busy so what now"aqua asked. "Wow your way better than Xigbar"Vexen said. "Thanks but thats not hard"Aqua said smiling at Xigbar. "Haha very funny go ahead everyone make fun of Xigbar"Xigbar said. "Well I guess I better start cooking dinner even though the kids probably won't eat"Vexen said. "I'll help you"Lexaeus said. "Aca color"Xion yelled from the other I better go color"Aqua said leaving the room. When dinner was ready as Aqua expected the kids didn't eat any of the spaghetti it just got thrown around. "Well its time for bed"Aqua told the kids. "Saix no go bed"Saix said crossing his arms and pouting. Xigbar started laughing making Saix glare at him. "Wow even as a baby Saix knows how to give death glares"Xigbar says. "I no baby"Saix said still glaring at Xigbar. As Xigbar and Saix were having a stare down Aqua was putting the other kids in Xemnas's room since it had the biggest bed. When Aqua came back she heard Xigbar still arguing. "You might think you're tough but the turtle on your shirt isn't helping your case"Xigbar said. "I big boy"Saix yelled about to cry. "Come on big boy you need your rest"Aqua said picking him up and putting him to bed. Aca sleep wit us"Xion asked. "Of course I just gotta go talk Xigbar and the other adults"Aqua said. Aqua walked back into the living room to see Lexaeus passed out on one couch while Xigbar and Xemnas sat on the other couch talking. Aqua sat in a chair across from them. "Are they all in bed"Xemnas asked. "Yep they want me to stay with them I just wanted to see how you guys were doing and if you needed any help before I went to bed"Aqua said. "What should we do"Xemnas asked. "Well I guess just take care of them till Vexen finds a way to reverse this"Aqua said. "We need to potty train them because I had to change Xaldin's diaper today and i'm not doing that again"Xigbar said. "Wait you changed a diaper"Xemnas said shocked. "I am NEVER doing that again"Xigbar said. "Aca come bed"Demyx said crawling up to Aqua."Yah I will in a second I was just saying goodnight to Xemnas and Xigbar"Aqua said picking Demyx up and carrying him back to Xemnas's room. She laid down and when Demyx crawled on top of her and quickly fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

When she woke up in the morning Luxord was sleeping on her left arm and Xion was holding onto her other arm while Zexion was holding onto one of her fingers. Larxene, Axel,Xaldin,and Saix were sleeping by her feet and Marluxia was sleeping by her head holding onto her hair and Roxas was sleeping on her chest by Demyx. Lexaeus walks in the room and smiles when he sees all the kids on Aqua. "Looks like they really like did you sleep"Lexaeus asked. "Surprisingly I slept well even though I have all the kids on did you sleep I saw you passed out on the couch"Aqua said. "Eh my neck hurts but besides that im fine"Lexaeus said rubbing his neck. "Well I think Xemnas and Xigbar wanna talk to you so how about I help you get these little buggers off of you"Lexaeus said. "Thanks"Aqua said once they finally detached Marluxia from her hair. "I think Marluxia has a hair fetish or something"Lexaeus said laughing. Aqua followed Lexaeus into the kitchen to see Xigbar and Xemnas sitting at the and Lexaeus sat down "so what did you guys wanna talk about"Aqua asked. "We need to potty train them"Xemnas asked. "alright well i'm not sure how but i'll try"Aqua said. "Wait I wanna do it"Xemnas said. "No way Mansex i'm gonna teach them"Xigbar said. "If you guys are gonna fight about it how about you all take part of the kids and see who does the best"Lexaeus said. "Alright how do we chose what kids go with who"Aqua asked. "How about we let them pick"Xemnas suggested. "But they will all pick Aqua"Xigbar said. "Good point how about we take turns picking the kids"Xemnas said. "Sounds good to me"Aqua said. "Who's picking first"Xigbar asked. "Pick a number between 1 and 100"Lexaeus said. Xemnas picks 1 since it is his number in the organization. Aqua picked 50 since it was in the middle and then it was Xigbar's turn to picked 69. "Xigbar you pervert just for that you don't get the little girls since you might be a pedophile"Lexaeus said lightly hitting the back of Xigbar's said.. Xigbar,Aqua and Xemnas just laughed. "Well who had the closest number"Aqua asked. "My number was 70 so sadly the pervert was closest"Lexaeus says. "How do you know he doesn't want the little boys"Xemnas asked smiling. "Hey i'm straight and not a pedophile"Xigbar said. "Alright well lets go wake them up"Aqua said. They all went to Xemnas's room where all the kids were still sleeping. "Lets just pick now while they're asleep"Xigbar suggested. "Alright pedophile you get to pick first"Xemnas said grinning at Xigbar. "Will you stop calling me that.I choose Zexion he is pretty smart. "Alright Aqua you choose next"Lexaeus said. "Um Xion I guess"Aqua said. "Alright its my turn I pick Saix"Xemnas said. Then Xigbar picked Luxord. Aqua picked Larxene so the guys didn't have to deal with the girls. Then Xemnas picked Axel. After that Xigbar picked that Aqua picked Roxas and Xemnas picked Demyx so Xigbar was left with Xaldin. "Best of luck to you guys"Aqua said before picking up Larxene,Xion,and Roxas up and carrying them to the bathroom. "So who wants to go first"Aqua asked. When none of them talked she picked up Larxene. "Alright your first why don't you and Xion go outside"Aqua told they both crawled outside the room with the toilet they were in the room where the sink was. Aqua sat with Roxas as he tried to go to the bathroom. "I will give you an ice cream if you go"Aqua told Roxas and five minutes later he came out of the bathroom smiling. "Good job Roxas just remember every time you have to go tell someone"Aqua said. "Xion how about you go next"Aqua said picking up Xion. She went not long after with the same bribe as Roxas. Then it was Larxene's had been in the bathroom for over 10 minutes and Aqua didn't know what to do then she got an idea. "Well I thought a big girl like you would go since big girls don't wear diapers"Aqua said pointing to Larxene's diaper. "Larxy big girl"Larxene that she went and Aqua walked her back to where Xion and Roxas were waiting. "Alright guys just remember to tell someone when you need to lets go get that ice cream I promised you and a little potty you guys can use on your own"Aqua said as they all went to the store and an hour later came back with a little potty and ice cream for all three of the kids and Aqua. "Well you guys can go play with Lexaeus while I check on Xemmy and Xiggy"Aqua said. "Otay"Xion,Larxene,and Roxas all said crawling decided to see how Xemnas was doing first. She went in there to see Xemnas sitting by the toilet as Saix and Axel cried and Demyx splashed around inside the toilet. "Xemnas what are you doing"Aqua said picking Demyx up out of the toilet. "I was teaching them to go to the bathroom"Xemnas said. "How Demyx was in the toilet let me help you guys go to the potty I will get you ice cream"Aqua said. "Ice cweam"Axel and Saix both cheered. "Alright now i'm going to check on Xigbar"Aqua said leaving the room. "Alright boys this is how you do it"Xigbar said peeing into the toilet. Aqua walked in the room to see all the boys trying to pee into the toilet. Luxord, Xaldin,Marluxia, and Zexion standing on the toilet peeing into it. "Xigbar put that thing away"Aqua said covering her eyes till Xigbar pulled his pants up. "Hi Aqua"Xaldin,Luxord,Marluxia,and Zexion all said. Then Zexion fell in the toilet. Xigbar just laughed and Aqua rushed to pick Zexion up. Zexion was crying when Aqua picked him up and he was drenched in pee. "Xigbar will you take the other boys to play with Lexaeus and get Zexion some new clothes"Aqua said turning on the bath water to give Zexion a bath. "tank you"Zexion said still sniffling. "Are you hurt"Aqua asked. Zexion just shook his head no as Aqua took his clothes off and put him in the bath. "I no like potty"Zexion said looking at the toilet with a look of fear. "Thats ok I have a little potty that you won't fall in that you can use"Aqua said. Once his bath was done Aqua dressed Zexion she took him to the little potty which he used. After that she took him to play with the other kids. When they got in the room where the other kids she saw Xigbar on the ceiling and Xemnas on the ground trying to reach him. "Stay away this is my damn scotch its not my fault baby Luxord found your stash"Xigbar said taking a drink of the flask he was holding. "Get off the damn celing your not setting a good example for the kids"Xemnas yelled. "I don't care I will drink when I wanna drink even if its right in front of the little bastards"Xigbar yelled taking another drink. "Xigbar,Xemnas can I talk to you in the kitchen"Aqua said giving them a glare. "But we are busy"Xigbar said. "Now"Aqua said a little louder which scared them enough for them to listen. "Xiggy in trowble"Xion said laughing. "Xem Xem twouble"Larxene said laughing. "Dwink"Luxord said spotting Xigbar's flask that he had dropped on the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

"What the hell are you doing"Aqua said once they were in the kitchen. "If you're talking about the potty thing it was an accident"Xigbar said. "What potty thing"Xemnas asked. "Well I was teaching them how to pee but Zexion kinda fell in"Xigbar said. "What kind of dumbass does that"Xemnas said laughing. "Um when I checked on you Demyx was splashing around in the toilet"Aqua said. "You got a one year old drunk"Xigbar said to Xemnas. "You what"Aqua yelled glaring at Xemnas. "It wasn't my fault he got into my stash"Xemnas said. "Which baby was it"Aqua asked. "Luxord"Xemnas said glaring at Xigbar for telling her that. "I have to go get a few things so Vexen can find a cure I will be back soon please don't burn the house down"Aqua and Xigbar went into the other room to see that all the kids were a little bigger. "Uh Zexion how old are you"Xemnas asked. "This many"Zexion said holding up three fingers. "I'll go tell Vexen"Lexaeus said. When Aqua got home she went in the living room to see a and Xigbar were asleep on the couch while Marluxia and Xion were drawing on their faces. Saix and Axel were dancing on the tables. Demyx was running away from Larxene while she shocked him. Roxas was eating a tub of ice cream,Luxord was drinking out of Xigbar's flask,Xaldin was causing a mini tornado,and Zexion was in the corner looking at the pictures in one of his books. "What happened here and why are you guys bigger"Aqua said which caused all the kids to look at her. "Xaldy this many"Xaldin said holding up three fingers. "Alright everyone stop what they are doing"Aqua said. "Who wants to scare Xemmy and Xigy"Aqua asked smiling. All the kids cheered. Not long after they were all dressed up in costumes. Xaldin was a vampire,Zexion was a ghost,Saix was a wolf,Axel was wearing a hockey mask and was supposed to be Jason,Demyx was a clown,Luxord was a zombie,Marluxia was a spider,Larxene was a scary doll,and Xion was a witch."Dem Dem tupid"Zexion said. "No Dem Dem not tupid Xemnas is afraid of clowns"Aqua said laughing. After that they all went to go scare Xemnas and Xigbar. Xigbar woke up to see a killer doll with a knife on his chest "ah get off me you crazy doll"Xigbar screamed trying to move but found out he was tied to the he felt something bite his leg "ouch stop that"Xigbar said as Saix bit his leg again. "I wolfie"Saix said before once again biting Xigbar. Xemnas woke up in the same situation but he had Axel sitting on his chest "ah its Jason I thought he was fake"Xemnas screamed. "Well at least its not-"Xemnas said pausing when he saw the clown(Demyx). This made Xemnas squirm even more about ten minutes later Xemnas was actually about to cry so Aqua stepped out of the shadows. "Alright kids thats enough how about we go get your real halloween costumes on and you go trick or treating"Aqua suggested. "I wanna be dolly"Larxene said. "Alright you can stay a dolly does anyone else wanna stay what they are"Aqua asked. Saix and Xaldin both said they wanted to keep the costume they already had. Zexion came back out and he was a pirate "Zexy scary"Zexion said making an angry face. "Marly flower"Marluxia said smiling in his flower costume. "Xi Xi faiwy"Xion said stepping out in a fairy costume. "Dem Dem a fishy"Demyx said pretending to swim around. "Roxy a "Roxas said trying to scare the other little kids. "Card"Luxord says proudly showing off his card costume. Axy a tiger"Axel said lunging at Saix. "Wow you guys look good enough to eat"Xigbar said. All the kids stared at Xigbar in horror. "Aca help"Luxord said crawling behind Aqua quickly followed by the other little kids. "Xigbar your scaring them"Aqua said. "Aw come on I was kidding"Xigbar said. "Xigy no eat Marly" Marluxia said crawling out from behind Aqua. "Of course not i'm much too full from the last kid I ate"Xigbar said made the kids all start to cry. Shh kids its ok he isn't going to eat you just wait till you see his costume"Aqua said grinning at Xigbar. "Ha ha you have to wear a costume"Xemnas said laughing at Xigbar. "So do you they are in your rooms"Aqua said. "There is no fucking way you can make me wear a costume"Xigbar said. "O really well I guess I could just show everyone this video of you and Xemnas about to cry as little kids attack you"Aqua said smiling. "Fine"Xemnas and Xigbar both said.


	5. Chapter 5

When they came back Xemnas came back dressed as a princess and Xigbar was a ballerina. "I just want you to know I hate you"Xigbar said scowling at Aqua. "tats a meawn word"Axel said. "You pwetty"Marluxia said laughing at Xigbar. "Great the flower thinks I'm aren't supposed to be pretty"Xigbar said. "Xigy be meawn to Marly"Demyx said. "Come on kids lets go"Aqua said. "Where are we going"Xemnas asked. "Traverse town"Aqua said. Aqua laughed as they walked through traverse town and the other kids laughed at Xigbar and Xemnas. One kid laughed at Xigbar so Xigbar yelled at him 'what are you looking at I may be a ballerina but I can still blow your brains out." This made the kid run away in fear and dropped his candy. "Look kids uncle Xigbar gotcha some extra candy"Xigbar said smiling as the kids picked up the candy. I think thats enough for tonight"Aqua said after that happened. After they got back to the castle the kids each ate a few pieces of candy before going to bed still in their costumes. "Wasn't that fun"Aqua asked both men. Then Vexen and Lexaeus both came into the living room where they saw Aqua and Xemnas and Xigbar in their costumes. "Um why are you a princess and a ballerina is their something you wanna tell us"Vexen said causing him Aqua and Lexaeus to laugh. "Shut up before I come kick your ass"Xigbar said. "Wow i'm so scared the ballerina is gonna beat me up"Lexaeus said. "Thats it"Xigbar said before lunging at Lexaeus. "Will you two stop before you wake the brats"Xemnas said. "Speaking of the kids maybe we should teach them how to walk soon"Aqua said. "No you will not be teaching them anything I will be teaching them for once"Xemnas said. "Well I wanna teach them stuff to"Xigbar said. "You are not allowed to have the kids alone after what happened with the potty training"Lexaeus said. "Well then me and Xemnas will teach the kids to walk"Xigbar said walking into the other room.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Xemnas and Xigbar decided to start with Xion. "Come on Xion walk to Xemmy"Xemnas said. "Dude this is stupid why can't I teach her to walk"Xigbar said. "Hey guys I was just gonna tell you the pancakes are ready"Aqua said. "Cancakes"Xion asked getting excited. "Xion focus on Xemmy"Xemnas said. "Cancakes" Xion said getting up and running to Aqua. "God damnit Aqua stay away while i'm teaching the kids"Xemnas yelled. "Xemmy said bad word"Xion told Aqua. "Alright lets go get the next kid"Xemnas said as he saw his next victim. "Come on Luxord walk to Xemmy"Xemnas said. Luxord just stared at him. "Come on what's it gonna take to get you to walk"Xemnas said. "How about some cards do you want some cards"Xemnas asked. "Monwy"Luxord said smiling. "This kid is good"Xigbar said. "Shutup and let me work. I will give you one dollar if you walk"Xemnas said holding out the dollar. "Luxy want this many"Luxord said holding up ten fingers. "Fine just walk already"Xemnas said. "Luxord did as he was told and ran to Xemnas and took the money then ran off. "When can I teach one of them to walk"Xigbar asked. "Shut up and go get the next victim"Xemnas said. Xigbar came back with Axel and Saix. "They both wanted to come"Xigbar said setting them both down. "Come on walk to Xemmy"Xemnas said. Axel and Saix smiled at each other then Axel created a small flame that singed one of Xemnas's pieces of hair. "Ya think that's funny huh well I will teach you little brats to walk"Xemnas said. "Let me try"Xigbar said. "Fine"Xemnas said looking at his hair. "Mmm you kids look tasty"Xigbar said reaching for the little boys. "Aca"Axel and Saix screamed standing up and running off. "You just scared them for life"Xemnas said. "Well they walked didn't they"Xigbar said. Next was Roxas. "Come on Roxas walk to Xemmy"Xemnas said. "No walk to Xigy"Xigbar said. Roxas looked at both men confused. "No walk to me" "Walk to me" they argued. "Ahhhhhh!" Roxas ran into the other room. "I totally made him walk"Xigbar said smiling. "You made him run in fear"Xemnas said. "Still counts"Xigbar said going to find his next victim. "Come on six you can do it walk to Xemmy"Xemnas said holding his hands out to Zexion. "I not six I this many"Zexion said holding up three fingers. "I know I wasn't talking about your age just walk already"Xemnas said. "Xemmy tupid"Zexion said then he went back to looking at his picture book. Xemnas saw the book and took it away which made Zexion start to cry. "Whaaaaa Aca"Zexion cried. "What's wrong"Aqua said rushing in the room with Saix and Axel in her arms. "Book"Zexion said pointing to his book in Xemnas's hand. "Xemnas you and Xigbar need to learn another way to get the kids to give Zexion his book back"Aqua said. "But he will walk if he wants it"Xigbar said. "Did you tell Saix and Axel you were going to eat them"Aqua asked. "Yep and they still look pretty good"Xigbar said looking at them and licking his lips. Axel and Saix both hid their faces in Aqua's shoulders trying to get away from Xigbar. "Then all the other kids came running in the room and attacked Xigbar and Xemnas. Then Aqua put Axel and Saix down to join the fight. "Buwn babwy buwn"Axel said setting Xigbar's clothes on fire. "Saix doggie"Saix said before biting Xigbar's leg. Xigbar had had it with these kids he changed the gravity where he was on the ceiling out of the kids reach. "Ha what are you little fuckers gonna do now"Xigbar said laughing as the little kids glared at him. "Shocky"Larxene said as she sent a bolt of electricity at Xigbar which made him fall from the ceiling and land on his head. "Alright kids that's enough now who wants cookies"Aqua said and all the kids went running into the kitchen.


	7. Chapter 7

"Alright guys the cookies are done"Aqua yelled and all the kids came running. Roxas was the first to get a cookie and when he took a bite he started growing.

"Xigbar,Lexaeus, Xemnas come check this out"Aqua yelled.

"What is it"Xemnas asked.

"Roxas ate a cookie and grew"Aqua said.

"So if eating cookies turned them small eating them again make the little brats bigger"Xigbar said.

"Let's make sure they all get one then I can't deal with anymore babies"Xemnas said.

"I agree"Lexaeus said.

"Dem Dem no eat"Demyx said.

"Oh yes you are even if I have to stuff it down your throat. Xigbar hold him down while I give him the cookie"Xemnas said. Demyx tried to run away but his little legs were no match for Xigbar's much longer legs.

"Let Dem Dem go"Demyx yelled. While Demyx was yelling Xemnas stuck a cookie in his mouth and forced him to swallow it. When Demyx grew again he was confused.

"Why are you holding me"Demyx asked Xigbar. Xigbar just frowned and dropped him.

"Ow"Demyx whined rubbing his butt.

"What's all the racket"Vexen asked.

"We changed them back"Aqua said.

"New rule no making experiments that look like food"Xemnas told Vexen.


End file.
